My son. Jack the Walking Wounded Boy.
We have had a visitor the last few weeks that two of My Three Sons have been enamored with. These children have had (and do have) a virtual zoo of various pets. The menagerie has included fish, hamsters, dogs, butterflies, frogs and the occasional, AHEM, bug. But the most coveted of all of these beasts, is of course, the one they can't have. Cats.
I would actually love to have a feline; they are perfectly suited for my temperament. They are independent. They sleep a lot. They can go days without interaction on my part. You can fill up a 55 gallon drum of food and water and leave for a two week cruise to Mexico. They do, however, cause me to sneeze, rasp, choke, sputter, hack, cough, pant, convulse, wheeze and gasp for air. None of these are the kind of behavior that I like to exhibit for long periods of time.
We have had a visitor the last few weeks that two of My Three Sons have been enamored with. These children have had (and do have) a virtual zoo of various pets. The menagerie has included fish, hamsters, dogs, butterflies, frogs and the occasional, AHEM, bug. But the most coveted of all of these beasts, is of course, the one they can't have. Cats.
I would actually love to have a feline; they are perfectly suited for my temperament. They are independent. They sleep a lot. They can go days without interaction on my part. You can fill up a 55 gallon drum of food and water and leave for a two week cruise to Mexico. They do, however, cause me to sneeze, rasp, choke, sputter, hack, cough, pant, convulse, wheeze and gasp for air. None of these are the kind of behavior that I like to exhibit for long periods of time.
So this cat comes trotting by, and the boys shoot like rockets across the yard to see the pretty kitty. Purring and petting ensue, along with gentle whispers of adoration and hopes of a long and glorious friendship. Cries of "BUT MOOOOOMMMMMM! We HAVE to get the kitty some food! IT MIGHT DIIIIEEEEE!!!!! coupled with the..ahem...puppy dog eyes that only little boys can do for their moms, send us (AGAINST my better judgement), to Target to purchase a small bag of cat food. "OK, just this once!" I tell them as they gleefully prance through the pet food isle. "JUST THIS ONCE! Then the cat is on it's own!"
Days go by and the cat comes around more and more until, finally, Jack decides ENOUGH with the niceties...It's time to get down to Jack-Man business! He has been Mr. Nice Guy long enough and it is time to show this cat who is boss, and the boss conducts his business in a tree fort in our back yard. The trouble is, the only possible way for JACK to get into said tree fort is to climb UP the slide, and what is good for the boss, is ahem, good for the cat. Unfortunately, the cat did not agree. To have a 5-year-old so unceremoniously shove his kitty BUTT up a slide was more than the poor animal could bear. The cat decided to repay said indignity by clamping down (and per Jack, WITH RAZOR SHARP TEETH) on Jack's arm.
Needless to say, I am, from this day forward, listening to my Mommy Instincts, banning all felines from our property and no longer giving in to "puppy dog eyes". And I am dressing Jack in bubble wrap.
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