TOP 5 WAYS TO KNOW YOU ARE A MOM

1) You discover, only after leaving the house, that you are not wearing a tie dyed shirt....it is just dirty.

2) Coffee has replaced alcohol as your drink of choice.

3) They know you by name at Babies R' Us.

4) You have accumulated enough Pampers Points to fund a 2 week cruise for your whole family.

5) You get dressed immediately each morning in preparation for the inevitable emergency room visit.


TOP 5 WAYS TO KNOW YOU HAVE TOO MANY KIDS

1) Your grocery bill exceeds your house payment.

2) You have a punch card for the Emergency Room.

3) "Honey" and "Sweetie" are used instead of names because you can't remember them all.

4) You have to buy a second washing machine "just to keep up" with the mountain of laundry.

5) You are accused of running an unlicensed daycare because you have so many toys in your yard.